The Enemy Amongst Us

The sun rises on a cold Cleveland November morning. Your alarm clock echoes through the still of your house. The house you purchased unwittingly from the enemy. You slide into your slippers and stumble to the kitchen to make coffee. As you grab the coffee and filter from the cupboard, you go through the morning motions with two products you have purchased from the enemy, most likely, unknowingly. You open the morning paper and glance quickly at the headlines before starting breakfast. You set out bread, eggs, ready cooked sausage and milk, all items you have once again purchased from the enemy. The eggs, scrambled, are steaming and look delicious. You go to the refrigerator and grab the ketchup. You squirt the ketchup on the eggs. Ketchup that was made by the enemy.
You plan your day as you finish breakfast. The bank, get gas and then meet your friend for lunch at a local restaurant. All places where you will hand deliver your hard earned dollars to the enemy.

Is it Al-Queda you ask. Did Bin Laden sell me my home, sell me my groceries? Is he that secretly integrated into my daily life? No, it is not the grand villain of the early 21st Century but Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania based companies. Slowly, as Cleveland has regressed, losing its industry, population and morality, Pittsburgh and it's allies have slowly bought into the area. A microcosm to what has happened to the United States with China.

Howard Hanna may have sold you your house. You probably buy some if not all of your groceries at Giant Eagle. The ketchup from Heinz, the banking at National City which is now owned by PNC Bank, all of these Pittsburgh based. The gas, you may have stopped at Sheetz and the lunch at Eat and Park, both PA based.

We have our resistance out there, fighting for the cause. Forest City owns property in Pennsylvania, perhaps the last bastion of our commerce pride.

So when you go to the next Browns-Steelers game, a daunting endeavor these days for sure, buy your hot dog before you go to your seat and pass by the condiment stand where boldly sits a Heinz ketchup dispenser. Thumb your nose at it. After all, it is the least you can do in this once proud stadium, since you walked under the National City/PNC gate when you came in.

Bonaparte's Revenge

Bonaparte's Revenge

Oh how foolish kids can be,
on their bikes under the climbing tree.
One on the Blue Booger,
the other on the Green Snot,
making bold but simple assertions
about a great military man,
laughing about his humiliating condition
many years after his death.

And in the heavens Napoleon looks down,
with those madman eyes
that everyone always raves about,
and he chuckles, knowing how simple there boys are,
being pre-pubescent and all.
"You silly boys," he slightly fumes,
"one of you shall pay for such insolence."
His finger nail mares a soft clay figurine.

The Green Snot is being peddled home
and the rider can feel it.
"Not me, oh please no me," he whispers,
"what a terrible thing to happen."

The boy gets home, drops to his knees
and goes through the motions of
"Please God, Please."

Black Ball

There are lists miles long I’ve heard,
Where people reside faceless,
Black specters in a white desert.
There are those of the deceased,
Lists of soldiers and sailors,
And those of the living.
Lists of the wedded and the armed,
But then there are those on a blacker plane.
Where the specters may haunt,
And yet not know why, or even that they are there.
At the head of such lists are those
That claim certain things aren’t important
To them; to love.
Yet in a short while, they contradict their stance.
Next are the names of those with no false claims,
Although more blunt, at least more honest,
Just a genuine wickedness.

These are the names of woman who have slipped,
Whose tongues have let loose
The most wicked words,
Those words that make me cringe.
It’s a list I’ve been keeping
For a number of years,
And it may go for five miles
Or more before it will end.
And you can probably safely bet you’re there.
But don’t you fret, you’re in good
And voluminous company.

Some verse I created many years ago

I’ve Grown

I’ve grown tedious this year,

And seeing this I see so clear,

The same old me, the same to see,

Oh god, I beg, do not get near.

I’ve grown tedious by day,

So quiet today,

The day that is still, so long to fill,

So, please, by god just keep away.

I’ve grown tedious to all,

I hear one million of you call,

“Dear God it’s you, what can we do,”

You run and scream; you trip and fall.

I must say this before I leave,

If baskets God needs then for God’s sake weave.

And weave for all goodness,

Just weave till you leave.

I come from a line of great sticks in the mud,

My parents and siblings all do what we do,

My grandpa when spent was covered in crud,

And I, in my life, am glad to bore you.

Dear god, not you too Emeril?

Just caught the tail end of an episode of "Emeril Green", a show where my beloved chef Emeril Lagasse cooks with an eco friendly slant. I never knew that cooking could be such an egregious activity for the planet. For me, for my heart, for my colon yes, but not the "Big Blue Marble" of space.

He mentions at the end of this episode something called "eco-dough". What the hell is eco-dough? I have to know!! Why did I come in so late on this episode. I need to know before I make anymore pies, pizzas or bread. How in the hell am I ruining the planet by making a pie? I'm gonna eat the damn thing! Don't worry, it won't end up in a land fill somewhere. Maybe in the sewer system, in a different constitution than when it came out of the oven. Emeril, what happened to your devil may care approach to the culinary arts? You've gone from "Duck fat rules" to "eco-dough". This maybe a sign the end is near, mark and remember.

The Answer My Friends is Blowin in our Sins

Step out of your front door. Can you hear that sound? No it is not the Langoliers, Mr. Toomey. It is the sound of the down swing of our society. The sound in your head that you don't want to listen to. Well stay seated and read on and I will break it down briefly for you.

Everything is cyclical. Civilizations rise and fall. The Incas, the Aztecs, the Romans, the Egyptians, the list goes on. We, especially Western Civilization, have had our run of it. We have red lined the tachometer of our society for so long that it is now time to come back to planet Earth. The ancient Greeks based many of their myth and tragedy plays on the notion of hubris, man's pride and arrogance being his undoing. Icarus flew too close to the sun ignoring his father's warning, and we, through our greed, have picked clean the carcass of the once great America.

Greed drove Madoff to take dollar after dollar in his ponzi scheme, and Greed drove his investors to hand the money over to him, believing in his falsified return schedules showing great performance even during the down turns in the market. Greed drove American Auto Worker Unions to take take take, making crazy wages and benefits for turning a screw and snapping on a panel and all the while, over the years, making their competitiveness in the car market worse and worse. Open up today's paper. Read the headlines and delve into a few. Can you see a few more examples? Can you find the next Icarus flying too high?

Well, the pendulum is swinging back now. Take the knife out of the draw. Cut yourself a slice of humble pie. Enjoy.

It's the end of the world as we know it....

What I'll miss when it all comes apart.

1) Advil Liquid Gels - Food of the Gods - Folks at work know my pill crush I have on these.
2) Movies - God, I hope The Hobbitt is released before it hits. Yes, I'm a fantasy fiction geek!
3) TGI Friday's - In there it's always Friday.
4) Recomposing and Laziness - I'll be too busy keeping alive and repopulating the world (THIS LAST BIT IS FOR YOU SWEATY)

What will you miss? Comments Please.

Quick Hit

Sorry to be so long, but I've working many hours.

The Somalian Pirates finally showed a chink in their armor. After making scores of many great boat jackings netting millions of dollars in profits they finally showed just how poor the Somali education system is. They take an American cargo ship, and instead of going the tested and true path of holding ship and cargo until ransom is delivered, they take the ships captain to hold for ransom instead. Are they mad? And by mad I mean crazy. We all know their mad, they are taking ships for ransom. There has to be some kind of ax to grind there. Don't they know a company will gladly hand over the cash for their cargo far sooner than for a human life.

April Fools

I just saw on Fox 8 news this morning a Japanese engineer invented a device that fits into your ear that controls your ipod with your face. Correct, your face.

The inventor, Kazuhiro Taniguchi of Osaka University, says that his device, the Mimi Switch or Ear Switch, you can turn on and off your ipod by sticking out your tongue, can advance it foward by opening your eyes wide and go back one song by winking your right eye.

With this news story, there was video showing the device being controled by these movements. And frankly, it looked ridiculous.

Okay, now listen up people. It is bad enough that you i-tards walk around in public with your head buried in your little portable devices. The same little electronic devices that are ironically bringing our society's social existence to a halt. I firmly believe that in the near future people will be murdered on city streets in the full light of mid-day and no one will even know because they will have their i-buds in their ears and their "eyes" on their text messages. But now we have a device hitting the market that will make you look like a flirtatious cat person with digestive problems.

The cat person aspect is the on and off of the device. I see my cats do this when chorking up a hair ball, the tongue comes way out as they hurl. The flirtatiousness is from the winking. If anyone is actually looking around they will see you winking at them while going back one song. Careful their bubba, you just winked at an old church lady that hasn't been amorous since the Reagan administration. And the intestinal problem? Well I know for a fact that my eyes open wide when that three alarm chili finally hits the lower intestines.

Please Fox 8, please tell me this is all an April Fools Day ploy. Please tell me this will be a simple silly facination and will never really take hold. Then again, kids have been wearing their pants off their asses going on almost 20 years now. Who would have thought that fad would have lasted this long.

When Armageddon hits..

We all, once we meet someone, bracket them in our heads consciously or unconsciously into various categories. She is silly, he is stern with his children, they are all on drugs, and so on. With me, I often bracket people first into what would they do when Armageddon hits. Would they sit on the curb and cry until the living dead grabs them to eat or will they take to the hills and fight the alien invasion.

Will you hand craft a bow to hunt, or would you be forced to eat insects and grub? I would like to think I would have the resolve and moxie to keep on keeping on. To help repopulate the soon to be depleted Earth.

My advice to you. Put down your i-pod and i-phone, you i-tard, for a quick minute and get your head into it. What would you do if the end of days arrive? Have a plan. Think of who you would call, family and friends. Have an escaped route, work your way around the trouble. Zombies are easy to outthink, Aliens not so much and roaming hordes of maurading human gangs about midline.

Where would you go? My sister and brother and law have a ranch that they haven't sold yet in Oregon, I think we may make the long haul out there, through the back roads of course. But when we get out there we will have to deal with Bigfoot, but that is another story entirely.

Stay tuned...

So it begins...

"We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get."

This a blog huh? What does one say? What do you say when speaking to the world? Political opinions? Introspective musings? Thoughts on the hereafter or the supreme being? Paranormal experiences? Um, ...Yes. Not so much on the politics though and definitely not about work. Seems if you say something about where I work you can lose your job and quite abruptly at that. No speaky about worky, no no, need the job too much right now.

Stay tuned...